it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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