Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
