Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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