Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
