its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
