I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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