Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
