dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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