i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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