eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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