there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize