I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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