Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
