So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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