Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
