two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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