The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
