420 ftw
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
