Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
