i can't believe i had my finger in that
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We need to get me chipped asap
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
