But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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