I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
