lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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