Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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