the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
