all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
