Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
