Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
