Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize