it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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