so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
