I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
