No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
operation have a gay friend backfired
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm passing your future prison.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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