I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
