Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
