i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
