Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
