She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
