: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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