Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
