Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
