I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
