I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
