Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
