It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I could have mohawked her pubes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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