just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
