Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize