Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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