I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
don't judge my taste in strippers
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
