This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
