Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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