I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
