He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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