Non-Jews are for practice
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
