Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
