I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
