Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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