My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize