half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
