New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
