yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
