my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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