It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
